I don't know; recently, I've been feeling really distant from God. It's as if I don't love God anymore, even though I know I still do.
I think last week sis trina talked about DESPERATION. And I really do want to be daily desperate for more of God in my life, daily desperate for the people around who have yet to receive the love of God in their lives. I just seem to have lost that passion.
And I think it's the people I talk to, the things I do.
I think it's my disobedience. I guess I've talked about the focus/obedience problem so many times. And it's drawing me away. The less I focus, the more I disobey, the more I lie = the more I sin. And sin separates mankind from God.
The lack of focus also causes me to waste a lot of time, which means, sleeping late, which means less than half-hour TAWG, which is SHORT!
I love long TAWGs, everything can be slow, nice, prayer can be near-exhaustive, which is so cool and God's presence can freely flow. I miss that feeling. It's emotional, but somehow I feel it is motivation for the spiritual.
This post is probably hard to understand, I guess...
hold me now at 11:24 AM
