I feel bliss. Wonderful bliss. I was trying to send an email to Deborah, it disappeared! I'll write the mail again. Sigh.
Basically Deb just shared my feelings from my angsty post from yesterday and encouraged me. Thanks Deb! Feeling great!
I was just speaking to Sis Kassey online. And as I spoke to her I recalled what she said before she left for the US. She said, "I look forward to returning to see all of you grow in your walk with God" and looking back, we have grown tremendously. I always felt I was like 'inferior' to some, but come to think of it, God has been so good. I remember the time when I didn't dare to pray with people, didn't dare to lift my hands to praise God, didn't dare to take the first steps in altar calls, didn't dare to pray with people/for people/in front of people, didn't dare even to talk about God! And I see God's hand in this, helping us, guiding us so much just in the past few months. The period Sis Kassey has been away has been one of the most hectic, rocky, terrible periods of my life, but it has also been one of the most joyful, happening and fulfilling times in my spiritual and physical life. It's just indescribable.
IGNYTE and IGNYTErs have been such a blessing to me. Especially Deborah and Sis Kassey. Even though Sis kassey's in the US and busy, but she always responds to my IMs online and always encourages, always cares. As for Deborah, I don't know how to say it. Deborah! READ. You mean a lot to me. It's like when I'm high/irritating and stuff you always bear with me and joke with me, and when I'm confused, worried or disappointed you always encourage me and remind me of our wonderful God who's always there.
I had lots of stuff in the email to encourage YOU with but I'll mail it (:
And the other IGNYTErs have been so great too. Those who are stronger in their faith like Benn and Ariel and Ruth and EC (these people just keep appearing, I know) they are just encouragements just by being who they are and what they do. They are the ones I usually approach when I have questions especially Sis Kassey's not often online. Benn was my first encouragement in IGNYTE, the first person I met who was in lower sec and so strong in her faith. She was the first person I prayed with this year. It was really awkward but right from the beginning I already had a lot of respect for her. And after reading her blog I realised that she wasn't like what she is now a year plus ago. The fact that in the past, she was so similar to me when I read her post was just so encouraging. It was like telling me, "God can raise you up too. It's never too late." Hm... Who was next? Oh ya EC. I don't remember what happened but I found his blog and read it. And for the next few days Deb and I were overwhelmed by his faith. For Benn, she's sec2, so for me it's like a little excuse to say, "Ahh whatever, she's SEC2." But I couldn't do that with EC! xP Then Ruth, because... She seems more kiddish (than the very mature EC.) And Ruth is so passionate about God. It's no longer scary to watch these people. I find it most encouraging.
Oh and Deb told me about FUEL. Pity I missed it. Still sad about it. They did about denying the old self, taking up the cross and following Christ and also about people who have 'strayed away'. And Deb said EC asked if we should reach out to those people and Sis Alicia said,"Make sure your spiritual life is stable enough that you won't get pulled in." As for my personal responses, I'll take a break, reply Deb's mail through LJ. That'll kill 2 birds with one stone and talk about my personal responses too!
Hey this is weird. I started to sing this suddenly.
"Crucified, laid behind a stone. You lived to die, rejected and alone, like a rose trampled on the ground. You took the fall, and thought of me above all."
Anyway, Sis Kassey's returning on national day! (: (: (: Sorry this post is chao random. I have so much to say! I'll be missing church when Sis Kassey's coming back because of my cousin's wedding. But AHH nevermind. I'll still get to see her the next week! (:
Read through the water baptism notes. I still remember the time; it was just in march. But it just seemed so distant, so far away. And this is super random, but I realised something. Camp doesn't grow you, it helps. But it's the time spent away from camp, spending TAWG that really makes the difference. Speaking of TAWG, suddenly remembered, Benn told me last time, "Spend TAWG, it really helped me grow."
Anyway, did some work today again. A very fulfilling and happy weekend for me, though busy. I shall have some soyamilk and eye break and blog at LJ before doing my work and mugging!
Unless there's something else I want to blog here.
BYE! (:
<3 laura (:
hold me now at 1:41 PM
