Oh goodness. Thank God it's Friday. This week has been the most hectic week of my entire life, with so little focus on my part, as well as the focus God was so good to bless me with for History PT!
This weekend, I hope to clear:
1. the 2 CL book reports (2 because I'm late)
2. CL file
3. History PT
4. EL worksheets
5. Play the piano and violin and sing, hopefully
6. Listen to french things daily at ecouter.wordpress.com
7. clear all backlog (which I don't know if I will do)
I'm quite sad because I can't go for FUEL tomorrow! I just found out I have to go for a birthday barbeque for my dad's friend who wants to meet me. It's at 7pm, so my parents and I will go after service. It's quite sad that I can't attend FUEL. I HEART FUEL! It's so fun, with friends, fellowship, fun and sometimes food! (: Oh and SADLY, I'm not attending SERVICE AND FUEL next week because it's my cousin's wedding! But I'm going to PL to check out the IGNYTE service (: AHHH BUT I WANT TO GO FOR FUEL!
I look forward to church the moment I leave it, honestly. It's quite sad to leave church each week, to know you need to go through a grueling week to get back again. I don't know how to describe my school life. Actually, I have plenty of time. If I can finish my homework even after slacking for very long, there's no reason I can't sleep at 9pm (as an ideal) and still spend TAWG and maybe even play the piano and revise for exams, do my filing etc if I focus myself. I can blog too. As long as I don't do blogthings. Blogging is a hobby. Blogthings is a fling, if you get what I mean. You go there, do a thousand quizes, regret/get bored, leave and go back when you forget the previous incident.
I DON'T WANT TO BE A SLACKER. I WANT TO BE A MUGGER LIKE JINGJIE. Huiyi's a little too serious for me. But I want to be like JJ!
I don't understand why God made me the way I am. Wouldn't it be better if He made everyone with JJ's drive? Their personalities can be different but can't we all have her drive? I want it, BADLY. I really want to be hardworking. I don't want to be easily distracted.
Sometimes, you guys just don't understand.
But even in the midst of all this, I will cling onto my faith and believe in my heart that God has the best plan for me, (Jeremiah 29:11) "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
AND
Oh goodness. I have been a bad SL. I follow the rules, at least, but not exactly the best example. My homework's been rather consistently late, I missed 1/2 rotational duties, and I didn't submit my bookings yesterday. I could tell thashi was pissed with me. But *sigh*, I don't know. Does God want me to become an SL? He hasn't told me...... Actually, I don't know. It's a 'muted message' in this sense. He tells me to make the BEST use of these gifts He has given me. The thing is: Is it a gift? I don't know. I suppose if people feel that I should become a PIT or PSL or anything, for that matter, they have their reasons to feel that way and therefore it's a gift. But I'm really not sure.
I'm rather confused and rather worried.
I need God's peace.
From Philippians 4:6,7
Do not worry about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
AMEN!
P.S. It might be a mix of versions because I learnt the NIV, NLV, NKJV, KJV, RSV and etc etc versions of certain versions (depending on which my dad told me about.)
hold me now at 7:40 PM
