I feel like really confused. This time, about SL duty. Okay wait. First of all I just wanted to share my discovery! Know what? I think my testing period is over! I think now is like this identity crisis thingo. Really odd. It's like suddenly all the motivation or whatever values I had suddenly disappeared!
Now here's what happened today. For an SL, this is like TONS worse than most of you. I GOT BOOKED BY A PREFECT. I was calling my mum in the canteen during lunch. I thought it was allowed! Then this prefect approached me and told me, "You're not allowed to call during lunch." Then I was like, "OMG REALLY?" It was really embarrassing, as if I didn't have the integrity to book myself!
I also realised that I myself found the school rules (some) ridiculous. If I do, why should I go about enforcing them? To make things worse, Elissa was like "Why are you an SL? Don't be a PIT like Joy!" And I actually AGREED WITH HER. I mean I was like, "Yea I kind of regret becoming an SL. I mean, why go about enforcing rules I don't believe in?" While that is partially true, I didn't fully mean it. It's like today and yesterday (basically very very recently) I suddenly feel that the school rules are very inflexible. Not because I got booked. I was booked before. ANYWAY. I think that although, yes, the school rules are inflexible, people still need to enforce RULES right? Which is the reason why I kind of regret telling Elissa that. It was as though I was COMMITING and PROMISING her that I would not become a PIT or anything. I personally do not enjoy going around booking people although I feel that there is a need for prefects. And yes, one more thing before going to geog, I remembered why I decided to go for the SL thing in the very first place. It goes back to the very renowned Philippians 3:14! If you don't remember, it is "I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." And I do believe in it. I mean, I never felt that I was like someone with wonderful, powerful, annointed leadership or what. But I mean, like in P2-P6 I was a prefect (lousy one though) and I keep getting nominated to become and SL (T2 & T3), I feel that God might want me to do something for Him. I might be hated but AH WHATEVER if God wants me to do it I'll do it. The thing is, I don't know. I have until to September to find out. If God does/doesn't, I'll blog. I'm sorry to people e.g. Vanessa/Elissa who I might have 'promised' (or rather accidentally commited) I'm really sorry that I might not be able to follow through that. I'm really very very very sorry.
Lots of love (and wish me all the best for geog)
<3 laura (:
hold me now at 7:40 PM
