I know I've blogged a lot in the past few days, but this something really touched my heart and I want to share it with you guys. There are people in church whom I really respect, like Benn, like Ruth, like Ariel, like Chuyi, like Ern Chuen, like some people who are extremely passionate about Christ. I don't know about some of them because I've never heard, but I know that most of them pray very powerfully and have crazy amounts of faith. And to me, this kind of CLOSE relationship with God seemed just so far away for me, until today.
I was just checking out the blogs of the church people. I read Chuyi's and she linked Ariel, who linked PLENTY of people. So I chose Benavon (Benn). And I read her most current posts. And all of them were peppered with words like, "Thank God!" and "spiritual". The questions I always wanted to ask were, "Were these people always like that?" and "Is it too late for me?" Somehow these questions lead me into the archives of Benn, and I clicked on the earliest, April (I think) 2005. I'm really sorry for my frankness, but I was rather glad to see that those words I mentioned earlier were not present in her blog posts. The posts did not talk much about God, except very occasionally. I had new questions. I started to ask myself, "When did she start to grow closer to God?" Actually, I kinda knew before clicking. 2005 was the year in which Benn went into IGNYTE ministry, so that means, she was a little like me last year. I clicked on November. The posts were rather similar to those in April. And I clicked on December. WHOA. Transformation! Well not really. But a great one all the same. It seemed so... me. Even though Benn is much more mature and linguistic than me, all the same. It didn't make a difference. Then I clicked on December 2006. And when she came back from camp in 2006, this is the essence of what she said. "I remember how I was like last year and how much I have grown." I thought about it. I know I blogged about what God has done in my life in the past 6 months previously. I have to press on amidst school work, distractions and temptations of the world for the next 6 months. If I can grow the same way as I did for the past 6 months, I know that I will be ready to join a ministry and serve by the end of the year. I'm not sure what minstry, but I know it is probably worship ministry, Ignyte host or prayer taskforce, though I really don't know which. Ohyes. Benn told me yesterday, "Do your TAWG. It really helped me to grow." I've been doing my TAWG with Deborah the past few weeks, and I have seen Deb's prayer improved. But somehow, just somehow, my prayer doesn't seem to have improved. I pray during my TAWG, and I really love to pray. I find prayer to be useful in increasing faith and making things happen. Prayer is very powerful. I can pray for ages, but I do beat around the bush more than just a bit. Unlike some people, I pray very slowly. I think slowly! Anyway, I gotta go have my pancakes. Cya!
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hold me now at 8:53 PM
