My mum taught me chinese today. My chinese is really really really really really really bad now! It was so scary to read the passages and realise that I read so slowly! Gosh.
I feel good. The first time I worked this holiday, haha I know, I'm slack. I haven't even read Whale Rider or Merchant of Venice, or the chemistry textbook, or get my dad to teach me math!
MATH. I love my dad's math lessons, so cool. It's like all the extra extra shortcuts and stuff they don't teach in school! I usually hate math. Boringg. SCIENCE! is so much better hahaha. Sorry I'm really high.
Maybe not.
I... I... I'm really worried. For SP class. I feel really really inadequate and I feel like I shouldn't be going for it. But I will. I've been so dry, I don't know the reason for it. It's been some time already. I think it's to do with priorities. And speaking of which, I'm failing in my attempt. Hmm okay I guess this is really direct. Hahaha. Well, I can't be honest and discreet at the same time! At least, for ME that is the case. I know the Bible says in Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious...." but I still worry like crazy that I'll stay in this dry spell. It's just horrible horrible horrible... I THINK/THOUGHT it had to do with THAT but now I don't think so. Not because I'm trying to escape reality or something, but rather, I've done my best and it worked and I was still really dry. But that is a separate issue that must also be solved. SP class, SP class. How despo could I get, I actually told MY MUM I was feeling dry, and really worried for SP class. My mum... I think has a warped understanding of stuff. But I don't dare/don't know how to tell her... And she's duper OS but nice most of the time! So well, I don't fault her or anything. Haha. But telling my mum is like BEYOND ME. I don't tell my mum this sort of thing, it creeps me. I also feel really odd praying in front of my parents. I'd rather pray in front of 100 strangers than my parents. HAHA. Okay not that bad. They're nice people, really really nice. It's nothing to do with them, really, just me! But I'm really praying hard to get out of this dry spell, quick. Preferably, before SP class... Sighs. I typed that because I just sighed. Hahaha. I don't sigh. Unless I'm tired. But I think this whole thing is tiring me and I just feel totally... Frustrated. I think that's the word, because I'm not depressed. HELLO? Do you ever see me depressed unless something happens to my family or friends or something really bad happens? Even then I'm not depressed, anxious is the word.
Oh and today my fingers hurt! I'm so happy! Hahahaha. I want calluses. I know people hate calluses but calluses are very useful! Hahaha. My mum when she heard that, she nearly went ballistic. She was like, "WHAT? Aiya don't play guitar la, just play piano, violin also can."
Actually I think violin is WAY worse. Okay maybe less painful, still hurts! And you get a twisted neck too! (Sorry shihui!) At least, that's what I FEEL. Hehehe.
Okay I had better go to do my chinese or my mum will be 'disappointed with me'! Hahaha. For wasting time. Buhbye!
Because I told my mummy that I would study today, and she said she'll leave me alone for the month of decemeber if I study for the rest of the month. Very worth it okay! I have SP class on 27, 29, 30 Nov so hahaha not that much study time anyway. And I don't like to work on weekends either and my mum knows that. So not much left eh? xD
hold me now at 2:58 PM
