Really Cool! (LOL) LOVES THE LORD! in-line skating blogging IMing singing and more
Really Boo! (LOL) HATES satan! Dislikes eatingcelery&ginger pilesofhomework and more
Really Drool! (LOL) Hillsong CD iPodwirelessamplifier ZIGs&Tiera&Souffle&Aqualip&Popart and MANYMANYMORE
It's been some time on this blog. It's a visible change. I mean, you can check out the oldest posts on this blog, or even the really gross/icky ones in the OLDER blog... Under links (me) God's been good! And, I think it's time to move, and write into a new season(:
Rick Warren (REMEMBER HE WROTE "PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE" ) You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having "wealth" from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, "Purpose Driven Life " author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California. In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said: People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense. Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness. This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness,"which is my problem, my issues, my pain." But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others. We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her. It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people. You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72. First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free. We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)? When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings. Happy moments, PRAISE GOD. Difficult moments, SEEK GOD. Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD. Painful moments, TRUST GOD. Every moment, THANK GOD. The only person who could get all his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.
So long into the year, and somehow... I'm still learning to be single-minded about God. Not to want to be single-minded, think of being single-minded, talking or hearing about it. But, to BE. Can't let go is next week. I'm gonna write down ALL my fantastic expectations! And I'm gonna believe that God will meet those expectations, just like He did before. Actually, 1st quarter worship experience is... A memory... From last year. Although camp gave me breakthrough, worship experience.. (it was called... No greater love... If I'm not wrong) and it was my step to action. Breakthrough can happen in the attitude, and a hunger and passion can arise, but these things get worn down when there's no action and things go back to normal! Somehow "No greater love" gave me that 'push' I needed to bring my relationship with God to the next level. And I'm definitely praying hard more! (: God bless ;D
I'm not going to tell my parents stuff that are highly personal unless I have to. Not because I don't like them- I DO. I already said, "I DON'T KNOW!" So tough not to write details. Thank God for LJ to rant about everything and not get read (: Anyway...
Chorus 1 No eye has seen no ear has heard The good that the Lord has prepared For those who wait on Him To hear His voice I am the Potter and you are the clay
Chorus 2 No eye has seen no ear has heard The goodness that I have prepared For you who wait on Me To hear My voice I am the Potter And you are the clay
Verse 1 Jesus take me in Your hand And make me all that You want me to be Jesus help me understand my purpose And what You can do through me Fulfilling my destiny
Verse 2 Let Me take you in My hands And make you all that I want you to be I will help you understand your purpose And what you will do in Me Fulfilling your destiny
Looking back, I have just so much to thank God for. Some how I feel that I should write about the promises of God that always hold true, and how we should claim them and believe in faith. I have a personal experience to share but I just don't feel like telling them. Remember the last year after I signed up for SP class? I signed up with no expectations. I intended to pick up some skills, grow to a new level, and basically learn how to SALT to people and all that... But shortly after that, at service.. Anyway, I don't even feel like saying it here, although it's really supposed to be good! I don't know what's up with me. Maybe because I sense God revealing His future plans for me. And it's unconventional, and scary. Unbelievable too. I'm really not sure either.. Anyway, for ALLSTARS email and for this, yea I'll be praying. Gosh, why are the 9487891208934732895728957 things in my life now? Some good. Some stressful. Some time-consuming. Some bad.
Busy today! Had my SP interview yesterday! Wasn't that scary la, I thought it would be worse!
PGC told me to go get a planner to plan my time. And to be more detailed. And not to impose my ideas on others, as a leader. Just some advice. Because he thinks these might be applicable to me. I agree with him. Mind-reading! O:
Told him about the worship min stuffs because I was talking about school, MEP and he said I should go join worship min. Haha. It was decided that I would mug hard and do well and give them confidence. Haha (: That's the gist of it.
CHEM PT! I started today, haha. Oh well. Less than 1/4 done! BYE!
God's been good. Dry period, and in the midst of that, SP empowerment. It was amazing. And God's presence was so, so tangible. I wouldn't say life has been a bed of roses since though! In fact, quite the opposite. Obstacles remain; they come one after another, no break in between. Today was a bad day because of a bad misunderstanding. It was a 'personal' thing which is worse. Worse still, it wasn't true. Oh well. Really praying hard for favour from the Lord! BUSYBUSYBUSY. So much to do, so little time!
The DIFFERENCE Dedicated to my philosophy classmates, with whom I have only recently learnt the concept that a flawed premises that leads to a flawed argument ;D
Science and God 'Let me explain the problem science has with Jesus Christ.' The atheistprofessor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of hisnew students to stand. 'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?' 'Yes sir,' the student says. 'So you believe in God?' 'Absolutely.' 'Is God good?' 'Sure! God's good.' 'Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?' 'Yes.' 'Are you good or evil?' 'The Bible says I'm evil.' The professor grins knowingly. 'Aha! The Bible!' He considers for amoment.'Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and youcan cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?' 'Yes sir, I would.' 'So you're good...!' 'I wouldn't say that.' 'But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person ifyou could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.' The student does not answer, so the professor continues. 'Hedoesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, eventhough he prayed to Jesus to heal him How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?' The student remains silent.'No, you can't, can you?' the professor says. He takes a sip ofwater from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. 'Let's start again, young fella Is God good?' 'Er...yes,' the student says. 'Is Satan good?' The student doesn't hesitate on this one. 'No.' 'Then where does Satan come from?' The student : 'From...God...' 'That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is thereevil in this world?' 'Yes, sir.' 'Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything,correct?' 'Yes.''So who created evil?' The professor continued, 'If God createdeverything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.' Without allowing the student to answer, the professor continues:'Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?' The student: 'Yes.''So who created them?' The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats hisquestion. 'Who created them? There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class ismesmerized. 'Tell me,' he continues onto another student. 'Do you believe inJesus Christ, son?' The student's voice is confident: 'Yes, professor, I do.' The old man stops pacing. 'Science says you have five senses youuse to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seenJesus?' 'No sir. I've never seen Him' 'Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?' 'No, sir, I have not.' 'Have you ever actually felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus orsmelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?' 'No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.' 'Yet you still believe in him?' 'Yes.' 'According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that,son?' 'Nothing,' the student replies. 'I only have my faith.' 'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats. 'And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.' The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking aquestion of his own. 'Professor, is there such thing as heat?' 'Yes,' the professor replies. 'There's heat.' 'And is there such a thing as cold?' 'Yes, son, there's cold too.' 'No sir, there isn't.' The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested.The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain.'You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat,mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but wedon't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There isno such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than thelowest -458 degrees. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter haveor transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat.You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal unitsbecause heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just theabsence of it.' Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer. 'What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing asdarkness?' 'Yes,' the professor replies without hesitation. 'What is nightif it isn't darkness?' 'You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is theabsence of something. You can have low light, normal light, brightlight, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you haveNothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use todefine the word. In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be ableto make darkness darker, wouldn't you?'The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him.This will be a good semester. 'So what point are you making, young man?' 'Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.' The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time.'Flawed? Can you explain how?' 'You are working on the premise of duality,' the student explains. 'You argue that there is life and then there's death; a goodGod and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as somethingfinite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, muchless fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of lifeis to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.' 'Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that theyevolved from a monkey?' 'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do' 'Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?' The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as herealizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed. 'Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at workand cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are younot teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?' The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until theCommotion has subsided. 'To continue the point you were making earlier to the otherstudent, let me give you an example of what I mean.' The student looks around the room. 'Is there anyone in the classwho has ever seen the professor's brain?' The class breaks out intolaughter. 'Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched, smelled or tasted the professor's brain? Noone appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules ofempirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir. So if science says you have no brain,how can we trust your lectures, sir?' Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at thestudent, his face unreadable.Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. 'Iguess you'll have to take them on faith.' 'Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith existswith life,' the student continues. 'Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?' Now uncertain, the professor responds, 'Of course, there is. Wesee it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man.It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.' To this the student replied, 'Evil does not exist sir, or atleast it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God.It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God.God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens whenman does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the coldthat comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.' Silenced, the professor sat down.
Gosh, super busy for cantata! Need to return everyday morning to evening Monday to Saturday! Okay, nearly. COME AND SUPPORT! I'll be a pig. You'll see me in costume singing and being retarded. It's worth your $4 (: Went for adult service today. Sermon about prayer. Spoke to me about why sometimes my passion for God doesn't go anywhere; I haven't been living a very prayerful life. I pray, daily and all, but... Not very much, I guess. And it struck me that this year my passion and hunger for God has been going down. I just noticed. And during the sermon (I wasn't entirely listening but received other revelations!), I remembered my emails to the allstars; the second was about HUNGER for God. It just struck me so hard that the reason why God is putting me through all this lack of hunger and passion through this season of so much testing is because it is how I will then be able to understand my SBs, to guide them along. I even remember catching myself thinking: if they don't have a hunger, I can't do anything. I was kind of... Saying it as though it was all their fault. I guess the amount of hunger we have for God depends on us, but sometimes it's possible to want to hunger, yet not hunger in reality. And this is really my greatest takeaway thus far. That beyond just trying to tell my SBs to do this and that, Spiritual Parenting is much more than that. And instead of 'making' my SBs observe very ritualistic activities (like calling them for TAWG), stirring up their hearts to want to know God more, love God more is really the essence of discipling someone in having a personal and living relationship with God. Wow, amazing. Even in a dry season like this, God can show me something so powerful. Isn't God awesome! I just feel that passion for God coming back. Verse 1: There must be more than this oh breath of God come breath within There must be more than this Spirit of God we wait for you Fill us anew we pray Fill us anew we pray
Chorus: Consuming Fire Fan into flame a passion for your name Spirit of God fall in this place Lord have ur way Lord have ur way with us
Verse 2: Come like a rushing wind Fill us with power from on high Now set the captives free leave us abandoned to your praise Lord let your glory fall Lord let your glory fall
The same old songs speak and work in different ways in different situations. Thank God
Yesterday was interesting. Some how, Sis Kim asked me how I was lately, I told her that I've been going through an arduous period of testing. And then I suddenly realised that I just 'saw' (rather, perceived, according to Trinitarian magazine) a new season of my life. The 2008 season. The magazine talked about entering into the season and bearing fruits when you perceive it. And I believe that after seeing this season of testing that God is going to challenge my faith and bring about exponential growth, yay. I wonder where I heard that word, it seems suitable enough. Okay okay enough about cheem words. Anyway, Sis Kim encouraged me to press on. She said that "Most of the time its under stress, pressure and testing that we grow to treasure our faith." Honestly speaking, I've 'failed' all my testings so far. As in, since last year. Though I've been growing but during periods of testing in past years, I haven't 'passed' the tests. BUT I'M DETERMINED TO EMERGE VICTORIOUS FROM THIS ONE! I HAVE JESUS IN MY SHOES! (: That's why I have the devil underneath my feet~!
I haven't blogged for donkey ears and a lot a lot has happened. I guess.
Oh well. But... it's gonna be settled, I know. I told BZH. And he might talk to me about it, I dunno... But I promised God that if he does, I will not tell him the truth. I will tell him the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Which is... Hard. Although on the surface it doesn't seem like very much, and I wouldn't call it anything 'wrong'. It's just... odd. I guess maybe I find it humiliating to talk about my PROBLEMS or my WEAKNESSES rather than something happy or good. Maybe. I've decided to drop french! This decision shocked some ((: But it's a decision I'm sure I won't regret! :D
Guess what, Laura started on a new drama series. 3 episodes since yesterday, not THAT bad. Romantic princess, hehe, that's the show xD The one airing on S'pore TV but I have no time to watch. The good thing about vids, you watch when you're 'free'/bored. TV is fixed (but nice, clear, and big!!) Oh well. LAURA LIM, DON'T CATCH YOURSELF HOOKED. MODERATION, MODERATION!
Today's been a terrible day. SLI, so I had to get to school at 6.30am and my parents brought me there. So naturally, not having had sufficient sleep, they were grouchy. And so everything went on, school was perfectly fine. Lunch at subway, not too bad, but gorged myself because I wasn't exactly in a very pleasant mood. I've been really irritable these days. My tolerance has gone down 50%. I remember last year I was so determined to live as a testimony of God's amazing love that no matter how irritated/angry I was, I shut myself up. This year my resolve is vanishing. I've snapped at so many people already, in the past 1.7 months since the start of the year. Time passes so quickly, I just can't believe it. And I've mostly been snapping at my parents because they nag a lot. I felt and still feel really really bad at it. And when I'm not irritated, I keep saying sorry. But I think my dad's really unhappy about it, and because I make a lot of mistakes, like losing things, wasting time, wasting electricity, being careless, being indifferent about important things... The list goes on. And today in the car my mum was talking about saying no to any possible commitments throughout the course of the year because I'm at my personal threshold. I kinda agree, but not completely. Nevertheless, my mum says it and I trust that she's right about it. And she was saying that God created all of us humans, not superpowers. And we all have physical, emotional thresholds. That really got me thinking. Emotional threshold- what does that mean; I feel like I'm bursting. Physically, no I'm not stressed. Homework needs to be cleared, there are so many things I can do. But parallel to my personal belief that time is 'created' in necessity and therefore there is enough time. But yes, different from last year, I feel the stress piling up. Fancy, I told BZH I don't get stressed easily. Maybe God wants to humble me. Responsibilities are one thing. In school, various people breathing down my neck, FT & CLET for admin, subject teachers for homework & exams, classmates for complaints (put nicely, feedback) about certain systems/practices (in a sense, very good they speak up but sometimes when they get too demanding it is incredibly stressful.) At church, Bro Zhi Hao. He doesn't put pressure on me, which is really nice of him, but nevertheless, a responsibility. Regular emails are really hard to write. Sometimes I'm just clueless as to what on earth I should be writing about. And it's stressful because there's a kind of QC involved. SBs also concern me, because they aren't taking responsibility over their own walk with God, rather, they are putting the responsibility on me. IH follow-ups are seldom stressful because they don't take long but they can still be occasionally. Well, responsibilities are but part and parcel of life I guess, just that sometimes the weight of it just piles on my shoulders and it can get rather unbearable. Then again, responsibility is a privilege and I shouldn't be complaining. Sometimes scolding can just double the stress. I told my mum that today, nicely and she was understanding about it. I told her 1. We should talk more to avoid misunderstanding/strained relations. 2. Sorry for being snappy, I'm really stressed. 2. Don't add to the stress by nagging. I'm not phrasing it appropriately here, just that it's concise(: Anyway a lot of stuff happened today that caused a lot of scolding, nagging and that really piled up on me. The number of times I've sighed today is a testimony of that. But when I got home I just kneelled before God and rambled everything to Him. And I sand One Way. One Way is a very meaningful song. The lyrics have so much meaning, just that because it's a fast song, sometimes the words slip by without sinking in. One Way Intro: Gm# / Gm# / F# / F# / E / E /
B I lay my life down at your feet Gm# You’re the only one I need F# E I turn to You and You are always there B In troubled time its you I seek Gm# I put you first that's all I need F# E I humble all I am, all to you
B You are always always there Gm# every how and everywhere F# E Your grace abounds so deeply within me B You will never ever change Gm# Yesterday today the same F# E Forever till forever meets no end
B F# Gm# E One way Jesus, You’re the only one that I could live for B F# Gm# A Gm#/ E / Gm#/ E One way,Jesus,you’re the only that I could live for
B F# You are the way the truth and the life Gm# E Gm# We live by faith and not by sight, for you F# E (END – B) We’re living all for you
I turn to You and You are always there. How true is that? It's the absolute truth. When I'm in the pits, the only one I turn to is God. Why? No one else understands, and no one else bothers to understand. No one cares enough, even though many care and do care a lot. We're all predominantly selfish creatures, it's just the extent of it. But God? Each and everything I've cried out to God, He's been there to listen, to comfort me. And though today's been such a bad day, I really thank God for reminding me about how important it is to live by His strength, not my own, which is what I've been doing these 2 months, causing so much stress. One way, Jesus, You're the only one that I could live for! :D Because I'm living for God, I will serve with excellence and dedication, faithfully and single-mindedly. To draw upon the strength of God and follow His guiding hand. This is my commitment today. I know this is yet a new season of molding, growing and I just have the feeling that these months are going to be one of the more taxing periods in 2008. But I thank God for molding & testing because without which, growth isn't possible, complacency sets on, everything goes. And I guess that's why we're always being molded into who we are meant to be. My next email will be thanksgiving. I'm pretty sure of it. Had better go do IH followup and homework! Forever- Chris Tomlin
Hi ALLSTARS (on my blog, er, whoever actually bothers to come and read, hehe)!
I'm sure all of you enjoyed Friday's event! It's awesome seeing IGNYTErs bringing in nearly 200 FTVs that night! Great job! :D Continue to bring your friends for services/events and to pray and believe in their salvation, yea?
Yes, pray. I know this is something that some of us struggle with! But as I've been saying to those who've prayed with me, what counts is what comes from the heart. Of course, the use of verses, appropriate vocabulary etc is good to have, but I don't think that's the most important. One can blabber non-stop, using the most impressive vocabulary and the most appropriate and exhaustive list of things to pray about. But if the person doesn't mean it, if the people isn't sincere about it, it's just as good as nothing! I admit sometimes, especially if there's something I NEED to pray about, I blabber. It's like, I know HOW I should be praying, and I say everything out. And at the end of it I realise that I don't know what I've prayed for. It's sad! I know that's also one of the things I really need to work on this year, to mean everything that I pray. You may ask, "Why is it so important to mean what I pray?" The thing is, God already knows what our needs are. When we pray, we are humbling ourselves to ask for it, which is what God wants! Just like even if your mum knows you need something, she might not get it right away! Sometimes, she waits for you to ask, right? ((: 2 Chronicles 7:14. "if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." Remember that!
Now, I'd like to share an amazing testimony to all of you. This incident happened last year, around November, but it's only now that I see God's hand in it. I thank God that He has shown me that this is a powerful testimony of how prayer can work wonders, not just a mere coincidence as I dismissed it to be at the time when it happened. I was blogsurfing one day when I chanced upon the blog of a girl my age called *Janice. Everything about her profile seemed fine, and she was even in the same class as one of my IGNYTE friends. I went to the 'posts' section and I was shocked to see so much hurt reflected in her first post, which was about being bullied. Even though I didn't know her, I could feel for her through what she had written. My heart went out to her and I thought, "She must come to experience the love of God that will heal her from all that hurt!" Initially I wanted to tell my friend to bring Janice to church, but I didn't because I didn't know that friend well. So all I could do was to pray for her. I prayed hard that God would reveal Himself to her and that somehow or other she will come to experience His love.
Some time passed, and I forgot about the incident. That was until I saw my friend bring along a girl to church. I was thinking,"Great, an FTV!" but deep inside I thought, "Could that be Janice?"
And as I found out later, it certainly was.
I was totally totally amazed. I mean, I prayed for someone whose profile I had only seen online, and she didn't even know me. But by God's AWESOME power, she came to know Him.
Not only that. She began to regularly attend services and I eventually befriended her. And guess what? Less than 6 months from the start of this series of events, Janice rededicated her life to the Lord. God is good, amen?
As I recounted this to Janice and later, that IGNYTE friend, I asked, "Why did you decide to bring JANICE to church, out of so many people?" The response I received was, "You know what? She asked me to.
Why is God so awesome!!! :D
*Janice is a pseudonym
I hope this testimony has shown you that prayer IS powerful and effective.
I notice that nowadays I tend to blog a lot of reflections. Used to hate doing that, now I thoroughly enjoy it! I find it very beneficial to get back and write about something that happened, something I've learnt, something I can improve one, or something about God/something amazing((: Yep, today's gonna have more reflections. Coming from a geog video. I love videos. Especially the documentaries. I don't understand how people can sleep through lessons (okay maybe other than... french... maybe sometimes, lit!) Today's video was about the kobe earthquake. It was a 6.9 earthquake, big but not THAT big, yet the impact on the city of Kobe was devastating. Suddenly, everything just came to a standstill. Everyone was at a loss as to what to do. It's like they just lost their lives, not physically but rather, they lost the lives they were living. They lost their routine. They lost their purpose. And it struck me. When something shocking and catastrophic like that happens, what would matter most? If I were one of them, what would be important to me? Money? School grades? Positions of power? Popularity? My life? Helping others? My friends? My family? God? I couldn't answer myself, still haven't found the answer. I think I'll probably turn to God especially if there's no one else. But what would matter, other than that? What would my purpose be? I'll just leave you with these questions. Responses will be appreciated!
Service was awesome. It really really refreshed me and reminded me to trust in God's promises. I won't say what they are because, honestly, I don't dare to say it. I'm pretty sure if not absolutely sure that they are promises from God but it's a bit big. I've no problem believing the first, but the second... That'll take some time. But with the prayer group in the wings, yea I trust in that promise! Really really busy, better not say more. Bye!
222nd post! Cool, heh. Anyway today (friday) was a tiring day. So long. And the devil was draining me. Making me walk up and down, waiting for people, doing this and that. But thank God I still have energy at the end of the day for P.S. I love you. P.S. I love you was fantastic. It wasn't a large-scale thing and some singing was out of tune. But really, it was the message that Pastor Gary preached that spoke to the people. It was so amazing to see crowds of people gathered at the altars to accept Jesus into their lives. I didn't get any salvations but SALTed to a couple of people... Anyway, I was just reading my old blog and yea I was thinking about what I went through last year. I really blogged a lot last year and as I skimmed through the posts I could just see the seasons that God brought me through, like growth for some months, and then testing, and then more growth, and then more testing, and at the end of the year God was just calling me to rise up, encouraging me with leaders and friends, and then testing me again. It's amazing. I've been quite distant from God these days, I attribute it to hana kimi and drama watching and homeworking too but I'm not going to let it drag. I want that relationship restored.
Consuming Fire Verse 1: There must be more than this oh breath of God come breath within There must be more than this Spirit of God we wait for you Fill us anew we pray Fill us anew we pray
Chorus: Consuming Fire Fan into flame a passion for your name Spirit of God fall in this place Lord have ur way Lord have ur way with us
Verse 2: Come like a rushing wind Fill us with power from on high Now set the captives free leave us abandoned to your praise Lord let your glory fall Lord let your glory fall
(repeat chorus)
There's quite a lot to do. Besides homework, vday notes! And prayer guide for the allstars, as well as emails #3 & #4. I think I'll stop blogging about my SBs so that I can open my blog to the Allstars and put it back on my MSN. I really want this to become a form of encouragement to them, and also so they won't be creeped out by me! Should spend tawg now, bye!
I've got quite a bit to blog about, just that I'm not blogging. One thing is that I've finished Hana Kimi. Liked it, but not going to use time so extravagantly ever again! I'm in a weird stage of my life. My own spiritual health is suffering, I can tell. Not engaging during worship/TAWG, getting short-tempered, church things seem more like tasks than things done out of love, even the words I use. Not that I'm back to the F word or anything close, but I'm 'swearing' more, which is bad, even though the words I use are seen as harmless. And, the stuff we talk about aren't good either. Laura, get back on track. Amazingly, despite my critical condition, I still have such a burden for my SBs. When I see/think of them, I just feel so much that they HAVE to encounter how AWESOME God's love is. I'm discipling Miyuki more 'seriously' (alternate day 'TAWG' with her) because she's quite 'open' (though not exactly enthusiastic.) I don't know what to do with the twins. How do you disciple 2 at once? Do they spend TAWG together? I'm really clueless. Well anyway in all things praise God! P.S. I Love You! ((: Serving. Oh God, empower me. I think I still remember B.D and my personal testimony......
today- luke 9:1-9 14/2- luke 9:10-17 15/2- luke 9:18-27 16/2- luke 9:28-36 17/2- luke 9:27-45 18/2- reflect to darling yuenwan/alison. So sorry I'm a great big procrastinator O:
NOOO... Not drama mama as in being crazy and dramatic. I have BAD BAD NEWS. I'm watching 2 dramas at the same time. I watch TKA on Mondays/Tuedays/Wednesdays after each episode comes out on Sunday. If it isn't bad enough, I just started watching Hana Kimi. Hah, slow. It was aired last year, I know! I was just super super bored and I started watching it. I feel super guilty but the show's nice! I wanna finish it. I know I should be able to finish by Monday. I've watched 6 episodes since yesterday O: And I think the best thing is to finish the whole series before school starts! But I have a feeling my parents are going to ban me from comp if I continue being cooped up in my room till Sunday. But seriously la! I just wanna finish it so I can be a good girl. I mean like 1 episode a week is fine, but 15 episodes of hana kimi in 4 days (though doable) is nuts. And abonormal. Oh man. Anyway, gotta go, still have work (and more hana kimi!)
IH NAME TAG!WHEE.So high.WHEE.Not TOO much CNY homework.1 CL si han, memorise 25 cheng yu, a-math worksheets, edit commonwealth essay, MEP worksheets.One more to my list. LAURA LIM, TIDY YOUR ROOM! GRR... Oh and actually also spend some time to talk to my SBs!! Sometimes, just sometimes(!!) it's quite frustrating. I'm not complaining or anything. It's just that when you just watch them, you know what they need but at the same time you can't do it for them! I need patience. Oh and haven't called Janella to discuss about the prayer guide yet. Yep, lots of church 'homework'. Haha, but I don't treat it like homework! I really really enjoy it, yay. 1. Email #3 to the ALLSTARS 2. Prayer guide for ALLSTARS 3. whatelsewhatelse OH YA IH TAG! Finalising only though, heh. I had better start CALLING people before I have to go for reunion dinner. Gosh, I kinda... (not) look forward to it (reunion dinner I mean!) "Laura I haven't seen you for so long! You've grown!" "Aiyo, but also got fatter already." "Now primary 6? Or JC 2?" "Orh, RGS arh. Are you in the top 50%?" "Aiya, not all RGS people are smart la. *blah blah blah*"
I haven't blogged really long. I'm scared of unknown readership. I always thought my blog wasn't read! xD But I think I should blog as if no one's gonna read it! Anyway, God's been good. So many things have happened, so many things have passed. So many things have dragged on from last year. And, so many things have finally been resolved. Thosed involved/whom I talk to/who know me well probably know what I'm talking about. Gosh, thank God. I never imagined that this was how the whole thing would be resolved. I always wondered about that! :D Gosh, thank God. And things did come out of it, good things. I mean, it was a sort of waste of time, though not a lot of time, heh. And though this I know 1 person was blessed. At least, I hope so. And it's been inspiring and encouraging even through the whole thing and I've learnt a lot from you and I've gained a whole lot of respect for you. I have one fear- one I only shared with ONE person((: But I seriously pray hard that's not gonna happen. I don't think it will, but I have to be very careful what I do, how I behave, and always assess how I feel xD At least, intrapersonal intelligence is my high (: heh. This is just one of the things I came to blog about today. Today 2 other things that impacted me: 1. Geography video on volcanoes 2. Class chairperson leadership workshop And, I also hope to draft my 'thanksgiving' once BZH approves the topic. Thanksgiving is something I've learnt to value more and more even as I grow in my walk with God, even as I am exposed to more things, negative things happening to so many people. Or sometimes, just admiring the beauty of God's creation and the awesomeness of His fantastic plans. God's plans never fail to make me GASP at their perfectness! Like recently, THOSE incidents? The 2 slightly church-friend related ones, heh. Okay change topic. Geog videos. I was going to cry, seriously. But there wasn't much to cry about. It's just that the lava flowing out of the volcanoes is so so beautiful and the way they work out, connecting to the law of conservation, and everything, trenches, ridges, it's so awesome. And as I was wowing over everything it suddenly dawned upon me that these things were the work of God's single-handed creation. I mean like there are so many people who think that they are good and say they don't need God. I mean I don't deny that they are good when compared to fellow humans! But God? No offence, I honestly think there is not the slightest chance anyone who could even get close. Yea, God is good! Okay class chairperson's workshop. It was surprisingly good. Basically we learnt about leadership styles and how to adapt ourselves to suit our 'customers' the class and to suit the others we work with (EXCO, teachers.) One thing that really struck me was when he told us to write our personal mission statement. Honestly I was surprised people actually wrote get good grades, earn lots of $. Gosh, I don't think that's my life mission. I took a long time, and till now, no I don't know my life mission. But I do know that I'm going to align my life mission to the great commission! For the harvest, just like the harvest SP class video (did I actually describe it?) Yea I still don't know what God's plan is for my life but what I do think I know is that I don't have a full-time call. At least, I don't think so. Though I personally wouldn't mind! Heh. A lot of work. But wait one more thing- SBs! What I'm concerned about is hunger. To grow, they really need to get down and be desperate. I can't feel desperate for them, though I can pray with them, I can observe, set them goals (eg Miyuki Dec SP class). The goals part I just felt that way. Even though honestly if you ask me, I don't think she's ready. What I thought of in the bath. Don't know if it was God, something within me just prompted me "If it could be done for you, why not her?" and also the song. The communion song What He's Done. The very one I mailed to the Allstars not long ago! I don't know how to talk to Adelle and Amelia. I'm a bit scared. And I think Miyuki's a bit intimidated by me! O: Today I actually 'prayed' for her. She wasn't comfortable with praying. Reminds me of my Benavon experience in Jan'07! Thinking about past doesn't get me anywhere, I should stop! But of course it teaches me to be humble and thankful((: Had better get to work O: Need to sleep at 1030pm! Gosh. Oh 6 prebelievers invited for vday! Pray pray pray!
I haven't titled my posts for friggin long, heh. I just got sick for writing 'today' or 'something interesting' or 'something that really touched me' just because I'm really TOO lazy to come up with some spectacular alliteration/pun like 'our HAIR-RAISING experience at assembly (literally so)'. Okay that was copied from Miss Ong. We were flicking hair and Ms Ong came and asked us "girls, is it so HAIR-RAISING?' and we were laughing our guts out, heh. But twit talk. Not trying to be elitist or something, but I hate twit talk. Simple reason, it's hard to read. But well, I've been trying to pick up twit talk! xD Hah, I bet you don't know why. Clara. I've just invited her for P.S. I love you. I really really hope to see her there. Well she uses quite a good measure/vocabulary of twit talk, whereas I like to SMS with whole words. And I figured she'd find me stuck-up/show-offy if I used whole words throughout! Hah. Thank God I was a twit in P5. Okay fine not exactly TWIT as in TWIT. Lyk heyys im sry 4 juz nw kk. Not soriix ferz juxx nwz kkaexzxz Haha. No offence meant, strictly a joke. Well, is that a revolution? Perhaps not. B. Andy said that you don't yoke with them, but twit talk isn't wrong PER SE, unless it's from an english teacher's POV. Eg, Miss Ong. I remember vividly the 'TYVM class' 'TYVM Ms Ong' after talking about abbreviations, thank you very much! :D Hehe. History FA Math wksht (I accidentally typed math wk'poo' just now O: notty notty!) CL 'storytelling' I hope that's all gahhhh
I am very honoured. But I also feel a great sense of responsibility. BZH's returning to M'sia for CNY, so he'll be missing tomorrow's and the week after's service and FUEL. Which means something... Our buzz group has a total of 18 people. With 2 no-shows (that I haven't seen before) and plus Clara and others, actually more. But yea. Anyway, BZH sent us the FUEL notes yesterday, with a short message. 'Hi all, please go through this material, Laura will lead, but the rest please be prepared for this in case there is a need to split the group into 2. Have fun this week in FUEL. Keep me updated.' Gosh, I was shocked la! I was, okay fine, I was very honoured, I guess. But I got a little worked up. I'm so mixed I don't know how I feel. I think I feel partially confident (perhaps overly so) and partially inadequate (the same SP class feeling!) But well, trust in God, Laura Lim!
50 votes, if Laura didn't count wrongly! There was a long time, like say 10min, where I kept refreshing and my votes stayed at 49 okay! I was thinking, "Gosh, don't tell me I'm gonna be a congress applicant who didn't get in because she had only 50 votes -_-" Haha, when I was thinking that way, nothing happened. The total votes went up, mine stayed. Wah, I was stressed man. Then I remembered my mum saying something like "never curse yourself". Haha so I 'broke' it, and when I refreshed, one more vote! WHEEEEEHaha, I seriously hope I counted less than more though! If I only have 40 but counted 50 and I stop 'campaigning', I'll be in trouble man ><
It's amazing how some songs don't make sense till you encounter situations. Like, Above All. I've been pretty worked up theses few days. Not stressed, just busy busy busy. MEP exam and congress voting just added to it. And especially for congress voting I've been quite GRRR and anxious, basically. During worship just a couple of moments ago, I was led to the song Above All. And suddenly, though I never really understood it, it just spoke directly to me.
Above All Above all powers, above all kings Above all nature and all created things Above all wisdom and all the ways of man You were here before the world began
Above all kingdoms, above all thrones Above all wonders the world has ever known Above all wealth and treasures of the earth There's no way to measure what you're worth
Crucified Laid behind a stone You lived to die Rejected and alone Like a rose Trampled on the ground You took the fall And thought of me Above all
It talks about God's sovereignty. That no matter what it is, no matter who it is, no matter what's going on, God is sovereign and He IS above all. That He's in control and He loves us. And to trust in Him by faith, that He has the best plan. Amazing. Okay I'll go read the Word now, bye!
VOTE ME FOR CONGRESS! The link is in student's portal, under student links. Click 'student congress'. Then click the survey at the bottom left hand corner.
I hope you look forward to this email, just take it as a mid-week reminder not to forget about God(: I'm sure you've all been faithful in following the Bible reading plan, and praying for your friends in your Battle Plan, right? *grins* Well... Not all is lost if you haven't, it's not too late to start! You only have less than 6 chapters in luke to catch up with((: Certainly good news for you!
Before I begin my 'message', I just want to thank you all for reading my previous email! Please continue to do so! It would also be great if you would like to reply some thoughts/reflections about the email to me! But that's totally optional. Any feedback/suggestions, possibly as to what I can email all of you about, are also welcomed.
Okay this email will be based on the verse from Jeremiah 29:13. God says "You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart". I'll be sharing about what this means, how it applies to us, as well as some personal experiences.
Back to Jer 29:13. When I first heard of this verse, I was like "DUH!" When you search for God with all your heart, you will obviously seek God! But now, what I feel this verse really means is that when we come to a point of desperation for God, He will honour that desperation with a greater hunger for Him, and He will honour that hunger by revealing (more of) Himself to us. That might sound a bit complicated, so it might help if I showed a Biblical example? If you remember, we read luke 5:27-32 a few days ago. It was about Levi a tax collector (who were notorious for swindling $$ at that time.) But the moment Jesus called him, he left everything and followed Jesus. That's how hungry he was to repent and change his way of life! I think the word 'everything' here summarises too much. Do you know the magnitude of the word everything? Think of the EVERYTHING in your life. If Jesus came one day (and you knew it was him) and called you, would you be hungry enough to follow him? Think about it.
Honestly speaking, if Jesus really came one day, I might not be hungry enough to drop everything and just follow him. I mean, I guess I would, but it's hard to say. I've struggled (still do sometimes) with keeping my hunger and passion for God going 24/7, year round. Sometimes TAWG becomes so much of a routine, it becomes a chore. I guess with our sinful human nature, it's difficult to continuously have so much zeal for God. I've been getting dry spell after dry spell recently, especially if I miss services or TAWG. I notice that trend in myself, so I really try as much as possible not to! Though my passion might not keep on burning (kerosene can run out okay!), putting in effort to keep it going helps! And the time we spend with God renews us and keeps us going! I testify to that(: So don't be discouraged if sometimes you feel distant or indifferent (bo chap) about God. Press on, don't let go!
Or what if you don't know how a touch of God feels like? I can't describe it in words, just know it's indescribably awesome. Even if you don't FEEL God or love God or something, maybe you could try thinking of all the things you have, people around you, nature, all your blessings and gifts, and think of God, your creator. Keep giving thanks to God, and pray for hunger! If you don't know how to pray, ask God! (:
Just always remember "This is love: not that we loved God, but He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." (1 John 4:10) It's not about the love we have for God that arises from us, but the love God has for us that causes us to love Him and want to know Him more!
Today I did something totally out of the norm. I emailed to Sumiko Tan to share the gospel with her. Haha, interesting? I hope I'm not in danger of getting arrested or something. The email was a gentle one, not like... Forceful or anything. I just said it as a suggestion and shared a simple personal testimony, and used an anonymous account? Haha, if you want to read the email, ask me! Heeheehee. Anyway, I should seriously write the email to the ALLSTARS before BZH actually goes to his hometown within the course of the week. Gosh, I should do it now, BUT I HAVE HOMEWORK, NOOOOOOO. Anyway, bye!
God spoke to me what to write to the allstars! And to share with them about the post-camp issues I faced that I learnt that though events are good to hype us, it's really the hunger, the love we have for God that has to keep on pushing us on. And to share with them (one of) the thorns in my flesh- being indifferent (bo chap). And that's what caused me to experience quite a lot of dry seasons, especially the moment I look back and see how much God's grown me, sometimes I get complacent and not hunger any more. But that's not the way God wants it to be. Ohno, I'm preaching. Haha. I don't think I have a full-time call, but I know (a lot of people warned me) that I have a weird, unusual call. It scares me. Yep yep. And I want to ego! Can I ego? I shall ego. I boast in the Lord. LOL! Paul says that all the time. I can recite the books of the Bible backwards! (without a Bible, of course!) Okay but I take really long, because when I'm unsure, then I recite it forward until I get to that book. Let me try... I won't refer to any Bible, promise! Correct any mistake if you see one! Revelation, Jude, 3 John, 2 John, 1 John, 2 Peter, 1 Peter, James, Hebrews, Philemon, Titus, 2 Timothy, 1 Timothy, 2 Thessalonians, 1 Thessalonians, Colossians, Philippians, Ephesians, Galatians, 2 Corinthians, 1 Corinthinans, Romans, Acts, John, Luke, Mark, Matthew, Malachi, Zechariah, Haggai, Zephaniah, Habakkuk, Nahum, Micah, Jonah, Obadiah, Amos, Joel, Hosea, Daniel, Ezekiel, Lamentations, Jeremiah, Isaiah, Song of songs, Ecclesiastes, Proverbs, Psalms, Job, Esther, Nehemiah, Ezra, 2 Chronicles, 1 Chronicles, 2 Kings, 1 Kings, 2 Samuel, 1 Samuel, Ruth, Judges, Joshua, Deuteronomy, Numbers, Leviticus, Exodus, Genesis 5:31:23 That's the timing, haha, how slow! I would try it forward and show the difference in timing, but that would be WAY too haolian. Haha, I was really really excited about this Bible thing because I think it's so fun! Okay fine, I admit going up during FUEL today was kinda cheating because I memorised it 3 years ago, in my other church((: Oops! Haha, but I got an extra mentos! After koping so many from yuenwan. Yep yep it's 11.42pm Better sleep, obey higher authority (parents!) ><>
I've been rather busy these few days. Over the course of the week, I've been clearing backlog, sleeping rather late. And I don't know, I just feel that I'm drifting away from God. The bulk of me says I should hunger like crazy, yet a small part of me says "Don't bother." I know which to listen to. I've also been watching quite a lot of TKA. I love the show. But I think I shouldn't be wasting so much time on it. I originally wanted to talk about the bizarre msn convo from last night. Basically 3 guys I didn't know were talking to me. One of them met me in a mass convo one of my juniors added me too. It was kind weird because... Gosh I can't say it. Not that it's anything to do with me, it just sounds WRONG! Okay fine, the really funny thing is that one of the guys told the other 2 of them that I was his gf! My goodness, these people scandalise my pure name. Reminds me of the chu lee voon song xD heehee Hahaha, how queer. Anyway I came today intending to write my allstars email. It's kinda late for this week, I'll get it checked over the weekend and send it on Tues/Wed.
Hi all stars! I'm sure all of you enjoyed service last week and mission mandate before! Hope all of you are still as fired up and passionate as you were a week ago. These events really help to hype us up, but I believe that most importantly, we need a heart that loves God and desires to serve Him as best as we can! But even when we are passionate, it's important to do a self-examination! Be certain that it's not just evangelism that we're passionate about, but that we are passionate about God, for whom we share the gospel! Yep, that was a reminder that I felt was timely. Just to give you a short introduction, this email will be about a hunger for God. I'm not sure, but I've been speaking to some people over this week, and I just sense that this might be important to point out, at this point in time. I don't think this email will be as long as the first one, but the main focus of today's email is really to share with all of you that it's really important to hunger after God, to have a heart that either loves God, or wants to love God, in order to grow. And I hope all of us want to? (:
I suddenly realised that I do have a bit of time.I thought I wasted a lot of time, as in, not growing a remaining stagnant.Suddenly I realised that though I did waste time, it's not all over.And I remember asking myself, how am I going to grow? TAWG doesn't seem to be getting me any where.And in GB God reminded me that growing wasn't about what I DO, it's really the heart after God that God's looking for. And, it's not up to me, it's up to God.About the heart, sometimes I just lose the heart.Sometimes I just find it hard to keep it up.And I worry a little for Miyuki.As in, she's not very hungry.Oh God, give me the heart of commitment and discipleship is pray and intercede for her through the course of this year. Amelia is also quite dao. I SMSed and she didn't reply. And the both of them are gonna think I'm quite nuts with all this discipling, and the other girls are going to think I'm biased. But I'm not! :X I was ASSIGNED. Ohman, 2008 is so stressful. I found out so many good things about Bryan last night, I got so stressed. The other PSP in my buzz group has to be a super-passionate one. I mean, that's good, but he's VERY quiet and doesn't really talk/volunteer. But he's brought 2 people to church already. Now you see why I'm stressed right! Ohman and I hope I will be able to keep this blog from my whole buzz group for the whole year! If I talk about my buzz group all the time, not always good, talking about what I feel about so and so, I can't be letting them read it! >< Ohman, and my parents are talking about shifting the laptop out of my room! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Well, okay, it's be good for me! Okay okay better scram, then they might change their minds. Okay I'll go study ting xie soon! Bye!
It's been. A year that really stood out for me. It passed faster than I could grasp, that I would allow myself to comprehend and it could only me pulled along in it's train ride. It's been a great year. Sure, it wasn't great and sunshine always. In fact I can't remember when I've felt so busy, so flustered but yet happy, really enjoying it all at the same time. The friends, the new experiences, the new loves, new responsibilities all came to play. But what truly made it great for me was that it was with God. Last year was one where I remember, I reflect how much I grew in God, the year which leads me to who I'm going to be for God. The year that made the foundation be firm. Who changed who I was. And that, made it the best of all , because I stayed firm in God, I found out who I am in God all over again, and who I can be in God. Who I'm going to be.
And that, made it great.
I really don't know why I went to Benavon's old blog to search for her 2007 post, to read her thoughts as a 'new' Sec 2. I just felt a sudden compulsion to read it. Just as I felt it last year when God spoke to me about being a God who is able, and that He can do for me what He did for Benavon. This bit that Benn wrote in 2007 January speaks my heart about 2006, which is precisely why I copied it. I'm not the best with words. I can see how apt Benn's description was of the past year. And it's much better than mine. The reason why I felt reading what Benn wrote might help is because, the time God started growing her was the around same as the time God grew me (as in, we were the same age.) And well since I was spurred on by what she wrote on her blog in P6 when I read it last year, what I read today might just help.
2007. I'm excited about it. For once I'm looking forward to 2007. It's going to be a really great year. One with God, one where not just me, but friends, many good friends will rise up for God, in our schools, in church, in leadership, where we rise up with courage. It's going to be great not because everything will be easy sailing, in fact I think it may be one with the most challenging times, where you just want to give everything all up. But I'm convinced, that with God we'll find that strength, to gather up and move on, though alone, though stranded, we'll go on. And one year from this moment, we'll look back and see the harvest , and see the rewards, past the struggles.
I'm going to rise up for God and that in itself is scary, overwhleming but yet so exciting with so much anticipation. It's amazing. Cause that's what my God's love is. Unstoppable, powerful. Ohman, I love this. I don't have to say anything, it fits for me! And oops, Miyuki's online, better talk ((: I haven't spoken to my SBs before, oops!
Ohno, I think I'm becoming zi lian, haha. Nope, joking. I'm just obsessed over my webcam ((: I just suddenly realised that it's quite sharp, so I started using it to take stupid photos when I'm bored! Literature tea tomorrow. My suspicion. It's going to be a disaster. Possibly. Actually I realised Ms OSJ is quite nice, but she's quiet. I THINK. She can find humour in people (but she can't really joke.) Well, I mean, at least she can take jokes! Which is why I THINK she is Ms Sharon Ong's friend, heh. Laura likes Ms Sharon Ong! Haha, maybe Ms Ong was nice to 111 last year. But not everyone from 111 liked/likes her. Anyway, she doesn't teach me now. If I'm not wrong,she's 209 form teacher. Thank God for Mrs Koh. As in, Ms Ong's really nice, but form teacher? I don't think I'll like that. Okay... Maybe I might. Like, especially if I was Sec 3? Ms Ong in OBS? HAHAHAHA, I laugh. And oh did I mention that I'm dead? Ms Loo told my MEP class to compose a lied (while I was away). And, I think it's due on Thursday, along with lots of other work! YAY! (my foot) In case you didn't know, a lied is a german song consisting of 2 parts, a vocal part and a piano part. PIANO PART=HARMONY=DIE Vocal part is easy though? Just that the placing the strong words on strong beats all the time isn't going to be easy. >< Ohman. And I'm writing my zuowen now! Oops, my time just ran out. Better chiong now, bye!
I heard mission mandate was fab. Haha. Yuenwan was so cute, so hyped-up last night. Fine, ALISON, for the slow group. Hahaha. I wish I was there but I still don't believe that people can't get hyped-up without mission mandate! Haha being hyped-up is one thing, but keeping the same passion for sharing the love of God to others all year round is another thing. And that's something that I need to grow in this year, as I've said a gazillion times. There are some things I've learnt to let go too. I realise that after a long while of trying and someone's still angry, there's nothing I can do about it. Haha, but at least we never met xP I miss Christian music, haven't heard much of it for really long. I was about to type 'for the longest time' but I realised that isn't really true, and that's PGC's fave saying. Ohman, there's so much going through my head but so little I really wanna say! I don't really like a private blog though. I like this blog the way it is ((: Very little traffic, I THINK! Unless everyone's just silent and doesn't tag. NOW THAT'S SCARY. Occasional readership is nice, but I wouldn't like the whole world to be reading my rants and all! xD Okay enough of that. I'm trying to clear my commonwealth stuff. I love my compo! Haha okay maybe not. I'm doin B3, the one about giving advice to a family with teenagers, but I'm worried it's too casual. It's quite... bizarre. I decided to give my advice to just ONE family, in a kind of story setting. The parents are called Mr and Mrs Grownold! Don't copy that! xD Hahaha. A week has passed. Email writing time again. I'll do it during the weekdays but I don't know what to write about! Ohman. Haha shall go back to my compo now, bye!
201th post! I decided to do the 'personality' tests that the RAM'08 people were supposed to do! I'm a visual learner xD Okay fine I already knew that. But I always thought I was more kinesthetic than auditory but maybe I'm wrong, haha! I'm global and not analytical. I knew that too ((: Haha seeing how imprecise and inaccurate I am, leaving out all the details xD But the difference in length between my global and analytical bars was only 1mm. Hah. I'm doing the multiple intelligences tests now! Results are out! This thing is pretty accurate man! xD The highest ranking are (they all tie for 1st): Logical-mathematical, Musical & Intrapersonal Their bars are all 5cm in length (haha desperate attempt to be precise xD) Next highest: Linguistic & spatial, both 4.2cm each. And then comes bodily-kinesthetic at 2.1cm, and finally interpersonal at 1.4cm. Haha. I KNEW IT! xD *ego*ego* I've been telling my friends that I'm hardly a social person, now this is proof! xD Yippee. LOL. I can psyche up large groups of people, like the All Stars or my class ((: but I'm bad with relating to people at a social level, unless the person is really my kind. xD Yay intrapersonal = inward looking = self-centred. Haha, no la. Intraopersonal is knowing yourself. Haha, I think I do! I know what I'm thinking and how I will react in whatever situation you throw me, haha. *ego*ego* And, these results also show that I think like a guy. Ohman. Haha, thank God I know I'm not gay or something.
Thank God I've more or less recovered! ((: YAY. I really wanted to go for mission mandate but my parents told me to stay home because they wanted me to rest well and recover fully! Haha, I agree la, but it's sad.... >< By the way! 200th post :D Yay. I wrote more than 100 posts this year xD
SO, I don't have bronchitis. According to my research, I have none of the symptoms to suggest that I have bronchitis, other than fever (which is only occasionally a symptom of bronchitis.) And, bronchitis starts with a long cough lasting 2-3 weeks, and I haven't been coughing. That's the good new, I don't have bronchitis. The bad news is, I have a flu. And a fever, but that's more or less gone now. I really really really wanna go for mission mandate and FUEL, and serve tomorrow, but that might be a bit heavy for me because it's quite long... My parents' think it's best if I don't go tomorrow BUT BUT BUT nooooooooooooooooooooooooo...... Okay okay I shan't be so stubborn. (but I am!) What if I serve and go for service but not FUEL? Or just service? Or just service and FUEL? Or all three? ((: Ohman, what kind of decision is this. And, I certainly cannot afford to miss another day of school, my parents say. Okay I'd better go back to rest. Bye!
Sick. Ohman. Brochitis >< AHHH HOMEWORK english comprehension math factorisation by grouping english mindmap. is that all! I hope! oh, there's french too. Had better get to work. I watched the Sis Joanna webcast already! So kelian! I think she really really waited VERY long. Haha.
Oh my goodness Laura's having a fever. No thermometer so don't know temperature >< Gosh, AHH. I want to do my stuff! My homework! I don't wanna skip school >< NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Hello! Laura's embarking on an internet/computer fast from TODAY to FRIDAY. So, don't ask me if my internet connection isn't working, my mum blew up, my computer conked out, I moved house, I couldn't finish my homework, etcetcetc. It is none of the above. IGNYTE fasting prayer pointers says 'Refrain from food and other temptations." So basically I'll turn my computer on once a day to check email and if necessary/suitable, to update my blog (only encouraging things allow for these few days!) And then I'll leave, spend TAWG, bathe, do homework, practice whatever instrument I need to, brush my teeth, sleep. Right. And, I'll only check my SMS before I sleep! Now, isn't that FAN-tastic? Okay okay won't crap. Wait wait. I have a resolution I want to put into place. I shall call it RESOLUTION #1! #1. To strive as much as possible to live a life that is Holy and blameless as a good testimony to those around. HAH. These RESOLUTIONS are meant to aid me in working towards my 3 goals backed by 3 verses I shared earlier on in the year. Okay okay will spend TAWG so bye! :D
School's been awesome, honestly. My teachers are all great, or at least I haven't met any nasty ones teaching me. Or rather, their nasty sides haven't shown, haha! I don't have any favourite teacher, as I said they're all good, but I think Mrs Koh our form teacher is really nice((: And OH my english teacher Mrs Tan spells A-W-E-S-O-M-E. She's cool and she has a great dress sense, according to me. (Okay, at least her clothes match.) OH and Ms Hoo (who?? xD) is really really funny. But I don't agree that she's the least intimidating teacher I'll ever meet in my entire academic career. I think I've met others who've been less intimidating. But she's really nice! And believe it or not, I like math loads this year. So challenging, so fun. HAH. And, I'm gonna like it more than I like science if the chem teacher doesn't improve her score of how interesting she is on a scale of 1 to 10. Okay, joking! She's not that bad. She's quite nice, not THAT boring. I bet God knew which subjects to give me interesting teachers for. MATH, and CHINESE. Okay chinese teacher not THAT interesting but tons better than last year! Ms Ong Su Juin is really quiet. But I doubt she is, as Ms Sharon Ong's friend. She's either really talkative (like ms ong, making them click,) or REALLY quiet and listen-ish, listening to everything Ms Ong (Sharon) has to say! HAHA. Unline poles attract, huh? xD June and I concluded this, heh. Oh, I shall talk about Laura's new loves for 2008. Math, and PE! PE first. This year, we're doing basketball, badminton and rock climbing! Ahh all so cool! So exciting! We're doing basketball now. We play a lot and we don't need to run rounds. COOL xD I hate running stuff like 3 rounds. It's the time when you get all huffed up but you haven't stabilised. Like if you run 2.4, by the end of it you're not THAT tired, esp if you run continuously because the running motion is very regular! 3 rounds is the WORST. Anyway, I love basketball. Somehow, I became slightly more athletic during the holidays. HAH. But I'm a terrible defender. I can only attack, hah. Basketball is awesome..... COMPARED TO NETBALL WITH ALL THE STUPID 1/3 COURT RULES o__O Badminton! Haha, we learnt it in NYPS. I couldn't serve at all (is that how serve is spelt?) I would hold the shuttlecock, drop it, and hit air. HAH. How laughable. Amazingly, last Sunday my parents brought me out for 3 hours solely with the intention to teach me badminton. The coolest thing- it wasn't as hard as I thought it was. HEH. I CAN SERVE! YAY! Lol, that was dramatic. But badminton is cool! Okay well I'm definitely nothing more than an enthusiastic badminton learner at this point in time. I'm not even a novice. I'm a second timer, hah. Rock climbing is even cooler. But, I get a little worried at the thought that my life would be at the hands of some one just as old as me- my classmate. Yes, we are going to belay each other. *shrieks* HAHA. But still, PE is cool. MATH IS HOT. MATH IS SEXY. Okay maybe not the latter. It was a figure of speech. But gosh. Haha. I didn't get into A math but I asked Ms Hoo if I could join and she said okay haha so that's how I ended up in A math! Goodness, it's super ultra chao chao chao fun! We finished 16 pages of math worksheets in the past 2 lessons. Another 8 due for the next lesson. I mean, she doesn't set us deadlines but she kinda... Expects us to do it. Haha. Big change from last year. I didn't touch my math homework- Mrs Sia didn't care o__O You can go ask Zunzun xD I love A math! Believe it or not, it has totally 180 degrees changed my view on math. *screams* Haha. And the cool thing is, my dad's math isn't as bad as I thought it was. Okay I never thought it was bad, but I didn't know it was THAT good. We were told to go home and read up on permutation and combination, pascale's triangle and binomial expansion (and their relatedness.) And I tried my dad. Good choice, haha. He wrote me 4 pages of notes (which I thought were... all wrong, or at least half wrong.) Because I couldn't imagine anyone remembering a pile of useless formulas that he learnt more than 30 years ago. BUT, I checked my notes with Clarisse Chu's printed internet notes. The formulas were the SAME. I was STUNNED. ohmytian since when did I have a genius in my family. (okay fine I vaguely remember that more than 10 years ago he did teach A level tuition but... that was more than 10 years ago, still..) My goodness. How dare my mum say she's smarter than my dad. Hahaha! xD Sigh, maybe that's where my genes came from, which is why I'm not performing very well. HAH. Okay, better not let my mum see that. I was joking. LAH! Haha. I wanted to say 'I was joking lah!'. But it looked so Singlish but I still wanted to use singlish to emphasize my point! HAHA. That's why sometimes I do stupid things like that. Anyway, my dad just taught me some more math. Gosh, I'm gonna be thinking about n, c, r, factorials and n(n-1)(n-2) thingums all night to prove that (r+1) = n! / r! (n-r)! Something like that, the ncr thing, if my memory hasn't failed me yet. And I have quite some homework and piano and voice to practice, by the way... And I shouldn't be spending time on math since spending time on math will only pull my GPA down, because it's my best subject and the GPA won't go up. So studying math only means less time for other subjects which = GPA drops. That was last year's logic, which is a reason for not doing math homework, hee. And which partially contributed to my algebra test downfall. Anyway, should go sleep now, bye!
It's funny how sometimes I don't have anything to blog about, and sometimes the things to blog about come swarming in. I blog using 'blog-it's. No, it's not a brand of some idea-remembering system. My 'blog-it's are scraps of paper on which I write my ingenious (joking!) ideas ((: Let me type you yesterday's.
TAWG yesterday was a squeeze. I had so little time for so much. So my dad, eager to teach me math, told me, "Okay BE QUICK." Oh man, I don't like that. But I tried. So, I used the 2 songs I found on Ruth's blog for TAWG (though the chords were wrong)! The 'no eye has seen no ear has heard' and 'empower me'. I thought empower me was quite out of place because I wasn't feeling inadequate like I was before SP class! But I sang it anyway, being in a hurry. After worship, I reached over for my Bible and I saw my comp MSN window blinking and 1 unread SMS. I was SO tempted to check out what was there. I am a VERY curious person, trust me. Anyway, yea, but thank God I didn't. I'm someone who cannot handle anything else during TAWG. Otherwise I really can't concentrate! Yep. And I controlled myself not to check what I received until the end of TAWG! Okay yep but that wasn't the main story, actually! The main story was the content of the SMS. The IM was just an... added distraction! Sorry, didn't mean to say that of you, what I meant was, at that point in time it was a distraction (also because I didn't bother to fold my screen down!) The SMS was from Bro Zhi Hao, regarding the encouraging email. And the SMS literally send shudders down my spine. Not only that, but goosebumps all over my skin and my blood froze. It was THAT bad. Hah, I bet you're dying to know what it is. HAH. Shall I tell you? Of course I won't................... Not, tell you. I won't not tell you, so of course I'll tell you! Wait wait wait. This means I cannot give my blog add to any of the allstars. I don't think I should blog it. But what BZH SMSed me was something that shocked me. I emailed what came to mind, and I really didn't expect that it came across quite strongly, to the point that I might appear to become the head of the group, which in BZH's opinion wasn't entirely a bad thing but had it's consequences. But he told me to send the email out. And I was really really overwhelmed. I was stunned. I chose the topic just to start the year well and I also hoped to bless them like how Benn has blessed me just by having a blog with a long history ((: It was a simple topic and wasn't very deep, and it's also what I think is one of the most encouraging personal stories I have to tell. Each time I think of it, the thoughts in my head swirl around, like "aweso-amazin-great-cooool". The reason why the words aren't all complete is because I don't finish my thoughts. They come and they go, very quickly. And back to the story. I didn't expect a topic like this to have such an impact. I was really worried about how I was going to 'operate' as a 'regarded' buzz group 'head' (in BZH's words.) Note, it's regarded, not actual. And even as I was drowning in my sea of inadequacy, there was a song ringing in my head. Empower me, like a rushing river flowing through the sea Lord send Your Holy Spirit flowing down through me Till I'm living as Your child Victorious and free Send the power of Your love Empower me. I don't know why, but just the 2 words empower me have a wealth of meaning to me. And that, to me, is like God pouring forth His annointing and POWER upon me/whoever is singing! Amazing. And goodness me. Why am I using such expressions 'drowning in my sea of..' 'wealth of..'. oh my tian, school's having an effect on me *faints* Come to think of it, haven't been using that for some time! *gasps* how fun *chuckles* Okay okay I have a lot to talk about about school and all. I'll change post to differentiate the change in mood ((;
Chorus 1 No eye has seen no ear has heard The good that the Lord has prepared For those who wait on Him To hear His voice I am the Potter and you are the clay Chorus 2 No eye has seen no ear has heard The goodness that I have prepared For you who wait on Me To hear My voice I am the Potter And you are the clay Verse 1 Jesus take me in Your hand And make me all that You want me to be Jesus help me understand my purpose And what You can do through me Fulfilling my destiny Verse 2 Let Me take you in My hands And make you all that I want you to be I will help you understand your purpose And what you will do in Me Fulfilling your destiny
The Bible is so powerful. These few days, it's like God's been telling to trust Him. All over again. I remember all those extreme measures I took through the course of this year. On and off, on and off. And time and again, I would say "Lord take control. I can't do it by myself." And I try to surrender, but instead I cling onto my control. I tell myself, "I'm surrendering it!" but I know that just by doing the reverse, I am not surrendering. And I know this time what the Lord has in store. Not mcuh, but I think I know what the result is. It's what most people would expect it to be. But I would never have guessed that this is when and how the whole thing settles. I'm not sure, honestly. But it just clicked within me during TAWG. Well, I should sleep now. It's nearly 11! I don't know what to say, no clue as to how to end. Oh man, how am I supposed to behave! Physically and virtually. As in, in person, and online! I'm clueless. Ohwell, God knows what He's doing!
This is the new and improved version of email #1! HAHAHA I like it ((: but, it exceeded bro zhi hao's word limit of 200 words by 425 words, heh.
Hi ALLSTARS!
This email will be the first of many emails you will be receiving from me! I hope that these emails will encourage you to GROW in your walk with God((: Since this is the first email, I shall write about what God has done for me! Why? Because when I was Sec 1, I was very encouraged when I found out about how God grew my Sec 2 senior so much when she was Sec 1, to what she had become in Sec 2. It struck me that if God could do it for her, He could do it for me. From then I became very intentional in wanting to grow. Before I entered IGNYTE ministry, I was REALLY vulgar and enjoyed gossiping about people. I went after positions of power, good grades, and popularity. But even when I had these things, I felt an emptiness within me, like there was something I needed. So I continued to 'hunger after' those things, which made me feel more and more that there was something else I needed. Sometimes at church when I saw people engage in worship, I would act-cool but secretly admire these people for their love and passion for God. And I guess this is what led me to discover that what I needed was God.
But it was only when I entered into IGNYTE ministry that my hunger for God increased and I started to change the way I lived. New beginnings and camp gave me a kick-start in my 'new-found' relationship. Regular services and FUEL helped to recharge me each week. But looking back, it was daily Time Alone With God (TAWG) that really helped me. What I mean by 'TAWG' here, in your present situations, is effort. It means being intentional. I remember how difficult it was for me to kick-in the habit of spending TAWG. After 2 weeks I felt I couldn't continue any more, but at that time God sent me seniors who came to tell me "Spend your TAWG, it's really important to grow in God." And together with a close IGNYTE friend, that's how I started spending my TAWG. The effort you need to put in may in to spend regular TAWG. Even if you do spend TAWG, have an active prayer life and all, I'm sure there are areas in your life God wants you to work on? Don't just take it as it comes. Be intentional! Make an effort to grow. I've grown so much in the year of 2007, and I'm looking forward to more in this new year of 2008! And just to ENCOURAGE (: all of you, here are the lyrics of a song that speaks my heart! What He's Done What He's done for me Is so amazing The love He has for me I cannot explain All I know is I once was lost but now am found I was blind but now I see And I know He can do for you What He's done for me
I am confident that when you hunger after God, when you seek God, when you pursue God, GOD WILL NOT SHORTCHANGE YOU. GOD WILL NEVER DISAPPOINT YOU. In an ending note, I really really want to encourage all of you ALLSTARS, in January 2008, to set your goals for this year, especially your spiritual goals, because they are going to shape and affect your priorities in life. What ever these goals may be, I suggest you paste it/write it some where you will see everyday. And every day when you see these goals, remember them and work towards them. Be intentional, and shine for God!
Lots of lots of love (God's, and mine!) Laura (: [you can call me LOL]
